Connection Should Be Easy?
Should connecting with your man always be easy?
The myth is that if you and your partner are a good fit, connection should mostly be easy and natural.
The truth is sometimes connection can feel scary and intimidating.
As much as you’re craving connection with your partner, do you sometimes feel like it’s just too vulnerable?
Connection is a vital need in your body for your nervous system to feel safe and grounded, and of course loved.
In fact, you’re wired to connect—your nervous system is built to bond.
But, if you grew up with weak, conflicted or abusive connections with those you were closest to, you are probably unconsciously VERY attuned to how SAFE you’re feeling with your partner.
So, has this happened to you?
Your man reaches for you, turns towards you in a loving manner, and you end up having a negative response?!
Maybe it’s the resentment that comes out right at that moment...
Maybe it’s the anger, too, that’s been building up, that bubbles over...
Sometimes the parts of you that have been hurt in this or earlier relationships (either familial or past romantic ones) have created walls around your heart to protect the raw spots.
And, the difficult thing is that you can’t always see it. You may not even be aware this is happening.
Which means if you can’t see it, you can’t fix it...
No matter how much you want connection, part of you is unconsciously sabotaging it!
You’ve got to heal those scared, hurt parts of yourself if you want to connect deeply with your partner.
Begin by having compassion for those parts. Getting to know those parts. See what they have to say when you gently ask the protective parts to step aside.